God Bless the Mother

After I read through "Why You Shouldn'y Have Kids" I can see that Moran clearly has her views on women's roles in having children. Moran has argued that women are to often prompted about when they will have kids, as if it were like a getting a degree or even a job. I understand what Shes saying about this miconception about "women's work". I believe that if a woman wants to have children, fine. If a woman chooses not to have children, fine. I'm a teenaged male, I don't know the pains or work of raising a child. Nor will I ever experience giving birth to a child. (God I hope not) However where I feel that this article is somewhat unfair is the premise for having children. Moran is arguing society views it as social norm for women to bear children and do all of the work of raising them Moran claimed that men can, pretty much, carry on as normal once they've had a baby." (233) That is completely untrue. It's true, women do A LOT in the realm of parenting. But I've talked with my parents about having kids before. My dad told me once my brother and I were born both his and my mom's views, neccessities, and outlook on life completely changed. My parents taught me that you don't go into having kids for physical reasons. No one wants to give up 100k on someone they've never seen before, but having kids s an emotion and spiritual journey. My parents decide to create me because they loved each other so much that they wanted to make their family grow and to have someone to love. I believe Moran is to stuck on the realities of kids not knowing anything besides pooping their diapers at 3 in the morning and crying about it. Children are a labor of love, and they should be viewed that way. If Moran does not want a child that is completely fine, societal views should not play a role in whether someone has a kid or not, the people involved should.

Snotty noses and horrible drool, who would actually want a baby?

I think Caitlin Moran makes her point in the chapter of her book very clear very quickly: if women don't want children, then leave them the hell alone. Not everyone wants a baby, some people are absolutely repulsed by the idea of changing diarrhea filled diapers or having their own breast milk thrown back up onto their faces. Yeah, we don't talk about the dark days of raising a baby. Fun fact, when I was a wee little one, I puked directly into my mother's mouth after she had fed me, and if that were me as a mother? I would probably quit life and leave planet Earth because gross. However, Moran does employ some evidence to back up her point of view. She has had her own experiences, such as interviewing others in the field of journalism, evidence being her editor asking her to call and ask if the person she had interviewed wanted children or not, as though that was all that mattered in that moment, as well as being asked the question herself several times throughout her life. Her argument is very clear when she states "If you take a moment to consider that state of the world, the thing you notice is that there are plenty of babies being born; the planet really doesn't need all of us to produce more babies," and "We need more women who are allowed to prove their worth as people, rather than  being assessed merely for their potential to create new people." Moran makes incredibly accurate points in the chapter of her book and shows that every woman should have the choice on whether or not they want children and not be judged by society for their decision. Too many women have children just to have them, not because they actually want to have kids, and those kids are often not properly cared for since their mothers didn't really want kids to begin with. Society puts too much pressure on women to have kids and it's incredibly unfair to the woman who just wants to be successful and to the children born to those mothers who didn't really want them to begin with.

Afraid to have kids?

In the passage “How to Be a Woman” Mrs. Moran is very adamant on her stance that women should not conform to the social pressure of having children. She in fact is a mother herself and uses this to debase mother hood and go off on a tangent about feminism, and how sexism plays its part in women feeling pressured to have children. Moran explains throughout her passage that the age old “when are you going to have kids?” question actually pressures women into thinking that they don’t have a choice in rather or not they are going to have children. Moran goes on to talk about the sacrifices people must make when they have children. As if one does not already know this. Moran talks about wasted time when children are added on to the equation of life. Moran talks about ending dreams to take care of an infant who has a million needs. Moran talks about losing your creative power and being left behind and forgotten once you have children, but to whose standards? Moran as a mother herself should realize that her children will never forget their mother rather if it’s for the good or bad. Moran is referring to society, which is hypocritical, because she seems to be so disgusted by it. On page 233 Moran states that “The reason they don’t ask men when they’re having kids, of course, is because men can, pretty much, carry on, as normal once they've had a baby.” Once again I ask the question, normal to whose standards? Woman have children and go on to have very successful careers and that’s normal to those women. Some women decide to stay at home and raise their children and that is normal to them. Some women put their children up for adoption for any number of reasons and that is normal them. Moran points out that women have a fertile period, which of course is biology, but nobody really pays attention to it. Until they have almost run out of time and have made the choice that they want children. She uses this metaphor on Page 234 “ …In much the same way they panic and buy a half price cashmere cardigan two sizes too small in a sale. On the one hand, they didn't really want it, but on the other they might not have the chance to get one again, so better safe than sorry.” In comparing children to cardigans Moran is making the point on how women in her opinion have children just in case they’ll want some later on in life. The evidence is faulty for the claim Moran is making. She does bring up various problems that are relevant in today’s society, but she is speaking on a basis. Being a mother herself, Moran should understand the beauty of mother hood, and how greatly appreciated mothers are.  

Why You Shouldn't Have Children

"...It can't be about who we might make, and what they might do, anymore. It has to be about who we are, and what we're going to do." Caitlin Moran ends her argument with this phrase and it really captures how a lot of women feel. She was the successful woman with lots of ambitions, independence, strength, and focus. She built her reputation and was proud of who she had become, but with that achievement she never stopped to really think about settling down. Of course whenever women are asked about men in their lives, or thoughts of children they say they're fine because that's all they know. It is not bad being single, or with someone with no pressure to get married/move forward. Society has put this pressure on women to have children before 35. This number is huge because after this number, women approach 40, and having children close to or around 40 is considered a huge "no-no". So now that women are trapped with these child baring years it leaves everyone asking questions about when women will have children. Because there are deadlines and rules it's a pressing matter for everyone to know. "Do you want to have kids?" most people respond "yes". "When do you want to have kids?" this question throws everyone off because there isn't a right answer. It's a trick question and I think Caitlin Moran is completely right when she says it's code for "When are you going to blow a four-year chunk, minimum, out of your career-at an age where most people's attractiveness, creativity, and ambition is peaking-by having a baby?" It's on everyone's mind when women are in that age gap. Caitlin Moran makes an excellent point later in the text about how women should be judged on who they are and not how soon they will reproduce. She thought out her point of view very thoughtfully and I agree with every aspect of it. Her journey and interviews she went through before having children were very honest and it's the truth. She used her own experiences as evidence and some other people as references to enforce her point. It's well written and I couldn't have said it better myself.

Why You Shouldn't Have Children

A short fifty years ago women had a much different view of women-hood. Most of the time it consisted of finding a man, getting married, having a baby, then caring for the family. However, the modern day view of women-hood has changed drastically. Nowadays they seem to consist of any number of things ranging from CEO of an automotive business like Mary Barra, or running for the 2008 presidential election like Hillary Clinton. Caitlin Moran, author of "How to Be a Woman," is stressing the fact that traditional ways are changing and, questions why women have to carry the burden of having a child even when they feel impartial about the whole baby making idea. Caitlin explains how women are constantly being asked "So when do you plan on having babies?" Which, in her own words mean "When are you doing to fuck up everything you've worked towards by having kids?" She then goes on to point out how not a single man is asked this same question. many points are touched on about the differences between men and women when it comes to having children. Then, explains how it isn't fair when it in fact takes two to actually create a baby. In many ways I agree with Caitlin, however, I know humans and every other motherly being has always had a mother tend to the offspring. Whether it be humans, cats, or dogs, or anything, mothers have a natural nurturing nature about them and in my opinion is why the burden of having children is stressed on women, compared to men. Although the burden falls upon them, I do feel that women should be able to make the choice of not having children and not feel judged by society. I doubt views on this particular subject will change any time soon but, I do hope to see a day when women can make the decision to not bear children and not be forced into decisions by the way society is.

Why You Shouldn't Have Children

Let me start off by saying, I am overfilled with joy that we have women like Caitlin Moran out there, making a change on our old views, and spreading a message I support 110%. In Caitlin Moran’s writing “Why Women Shouldn’t Have Children” she explains her beliefs in our societal norms, and the overbearing thought that all women should not only have children, but should want to have children. Moran is a very opinionated woman, and from first reading what she had to say I would assume that she didn’t have any children, but to my surprise she actually does have a child. Knowing she had a child completely changed my outlook on her writing and, honestly made me agree with her piece even more whole-heartedly. Moran explains throughout her paper that women in our society are “presumed” to “always end up having babies”, and that instead of others asking “do you want children?” they will ask “when are you going to have children?” She goes on to explain that being a mother can teach you lessons, but those lessons can and will be taught in a variety of other ways, and settings. People tend to think that a woman’s worth comes from her abilities to produce another being, rather than a variety of other characteristics and talents that they should be praised for. The fact that a woman is judged on whether or not she pops out a baby is absurd. Moran also mentions that women are treated very differently than men, that men never get asked the question “when are you going to have kids?” She thinks this is because “men can, pretty much, carry on as normal once they’ve had a baby.” The mother, in turn, is left to spring back from her recent child birth, breast feed, and in most cases stay at home and take care of the child. Moran supports most of what she is saying by tying in her experience as a mother, and woman: which is a good technique because she can be seen as a person you can trust, since she’s been through all of it, and knows how it has changed her view. Moran also uses popular figures in movies, such as batman, to compare the societal standards between men and women. All in all Moran is saying it is okay to want to have children, but it is not something that should be forced on all of us, because everyone has different wants in life, and sometimes that want does not contain being tied down by a big 18 year commitment.

Same View, Different Gender

I believe that if Pat Archbold, author of "The Death of Pretty" and Lakshmi Chaudhry, who wrote "Men Growing Up to be Boys," were to sit down together and discuss their beliefs regarding gender norms, the two would get along quite nicely. Archbold's beliefs are rooted in the traditional view that a woman's beauty stems from a combination of innocence and physical attributes. He believes that a "proper" woman is one who projects innocence, not one who aims for the pop-culture ideals of hot-ness. Chaudhry’s beliefs are also somewhat traditional, and possibly old-fashioned. She notes the change in men’s societal roles stating that men used to hold a greater amount of responsibility, which required a higher maturity level. Now-a-days, however, Chaudhry references TV, movies, and books that depict full grown men acting like little boys who are basically unable to take care of themselves and lack the emotional capacity to commit to anything. Though Chaudhry and Archbold expressed their opinions on the social expectations of opposite genders, they share the same point of view. Both authors think that men and women are going down the wrong path, and that this generation’s ideas of what is socially acceptable as far as gender norms are fundamentally flawed.