In the passage “How to Be a Woman” Mrs. Moran is very adamant
on her stance that women should not conform to the social pressure of having
children. She in fact is a mother herself and uses this to debase mother hood
and go off on a tangent about feminism, and how sexism plays its part in women
feeling pressured to have children. Moran explains throughout her passage that
the age old “when are you going to have kids?” question actually pressures women
into thinking that they don’t have a choice in rather or not they are going to
have children. Moran goes on to talk about the sacrifices people must make when
they have children. As if one does not already know this. Moran talks about
wasted time when children are added on to the equation of life. Moran talks
about ending dreams to take care of an infant who has a million needs. Moran
talks about losing your creative power and being left behind and forgotten once
you have children, but to whose standards? Moran as a mother herself should
realize that her children will never forget their mother rather if it’s for the
good or bad. Moran is referring to society, which is hypocritical, because she
seems to be so disgusted by it. On page 233 Moran states that “The reason they
don’t ask men when they’re having kids, of course, is because men can, pretty
much, carry on, as normal once they've had a baby.” Once again I ask the question, normal to whose standards? Woman have children and go on to have very successful
careers and that’s normal to those women. Some women decide to stay at home and
raise their children and that is normal to them. Some women put their children
up for adoption for any number of reasons and that is normal them. Moran points
out that women have a fertile period, which of course is biology, but nobody
really pays attention to it. Until they have almost run out of time and have
made the choice that they want children. She uses this metaphor on Page 234 “ …In
much the same way they panic and buy a half price cashmere cardigan two sizes
too small in a sale. On the one hand, they didn't really want it, but on the
other they might not have the chance to get one again, so better safe than
sorry.” In comparing children to cardigans Moran is making the point on how
women in her opinion have children just in case they’ll want some later on in
life. The evidence is faulty for the claim Moran is making. She does bring up various
problems that are relevant in today’s society, but she is speaking on a basis.
Being a mother herself, Moran should understand the beauty of mother hood, and how
greatly appreciated mothers are.
I don’t feel as though Moran was trying to debase motherhood or its beauty, because she is a mother herself. But rather, I feel like she was defending women’s right to decide if having children is for them or not. There are those who don’t view motherhood as a burden but rather a blessing. They don’t see they’re life as coming to a halt but rather a new beginning. Yet, undoubtedly there are those who decide to have a child simply because a “biological clock” argument or peer pressure trumped up to a societal level. Situations in which a mother discovers she doesn’t actually want children, can turn out to be harmful to both the mother and the child. So I think it was important for Moran to speak up and let them know that they shouldn’t be ostracized for feeling that way. Motherhood is often idealized by society, but that is when you must really ask yourself, according to whose standards? If beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder, it is presumptuous to assume all women view motherhood the same way. Not everyone is willing to sacrifice so much, if amazing experiences can be gained just the same in other ways. Our society is growing and developing into one in which, as compared to even fifty plus years ago, women are becoming more and more equal to men. Perhaps the most crucial aspect to Moran’s argument lies in the fact that: if parenthood is so great, why don’t we ask men the same thing?
ReplyDeleteI think that Caitlin Moran is defending her fellow ladies. Moran knows first how judgmental and sexist our society can be. When she was working for a women’s magazine she got to get a taste of what is on everyone’s mind. On page 232 she show’s her first kind of real experience dealing with the question “does she want kids?” Her editor wanted to know if the women Moran was interviewing wanted kids and if she was seeing anyone. He thought “the piece needs it”. The editor also wanted to know all about “Who” the young girl was wearing. I think that is adding to the sexist feel. Him knowing what she was wearing and if she is having children is more important than find out how successful she plans on being. I think her point in this article isn't to down women wanting to have children, but just to make it aware to our society that we don’t have to want kids and it’s nobody’s business if we do or don’t. Everyone is so caught up on women having babies because they think that if they don’t have kids before a certain time than they will ever have a chance at having a child. Moran said that “Your big moment is society is during breeding years.” This makes women feel like they have to choose between having kids or a successful career. She wants women to know that yes you could “learn thousands of interesting things” from having a child but you could also get nothing from it. The author wants more women to be “allowed to prove their worth as people” instead of by if you can produce a child. What surprised me about reading this is I didn't expect the author to be a mother. I feel happy to know that she supports her own statements. I know definitely think that she just wants to put the word out there that women aren't meant to just have children that they can do so much more.
ReplyDeleteI don't agree with what you took from Caitlin Moran's book 'How to be a Woman'. The author is not trying to '"debase motherhood", but trying to bring awareness on the very real pressure, on women specifically, to have a child. It's true when you say that the sacrifices of having a baby are known to some of us, but it is important to bring it up when there are women who were never interested in being a mother being told they NEED to have kids eventually, and to be careful to not run out of time. I believe women ARE pushed by the media, our families, and our own biology to breed, and I know that even in nature there are females who just aren't ready or willing to be mothers. Moran brings up that sometimes we feel we are too young and have a future to look forward to that disappears for years when the cry of a baby appears and this is true, using herself as an example. Some women can't stand the sight of children and that doesn't make that woman any less an accomplished human being. I personally appreciated this chapter in Moran's book because i am disgusted by pregnancy, terrified of child-rearing, and feel like my life ends when theirs begins. Yet, the world paints a pretty picture with motherhood. That is why babies are doe-eyed, to make you forget the stretch marks, the sleepless years, the few that turn into serial killers or live in your basement when they're 40, the way we throw out our dreams and ideals, for what? To tell our family, society, and nature itself, "There you go, I have completed my life task as a female.". The pressure is very unfair, some are consciously not willing to make the "obvious" sacrifices, but are being subconsciously wavered by the media's expectations, some family's religious views, and then biology's little tug when we see a small baby.
ReplyDeleteYeah... Gotta disagree here. I don't think this is an issue one has to feel so polarized on, to be honest. You shouldn't feel the need to "defend" motherhood or the act of having children- especially not since Moran specifically states that pretty much any reason to have children is good enough. She really does, in a practical sense, take a "more power to you" kind of a stance, even if she comes off as a bit negative towards the act of child bearing. It is, in the end, a personal choice and I think you read too much into Moran's judgment of that choice. Your point over her “evidence” is good, but I don't actually think that really did much for your argument. Moran is not telling people not to have kids (Yes, I know, that's the title of the chapter) but rather that we should remove the stigma around not having kids and should allow women to feel comfortable choosing a path in life which works best for them. You personally find value in motherhood, and that's great, but it's important to realize that there is no intrinsic value in anything like that and that you can't denote any sort of objective positive or negative qualities to something so subjective. Everyone is going to feel differently about the idea of having children for any number of reasons. What Moran really wants is the pressure removed and the antiquated stigma around childless women to be phased out. Yes, she comes off negatively towards child bearing, but you shouldn't take that as some sort of anti-child stance. She just wants to avoid the many instances where women are pressured into having children because they believe it is their duty or that they will be incomplete without it.
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