Let me start off by saying, I am overfilled with joy that we
have women like Caitlin Moran out there, making a change on our old views, and
spreading a message I support 110%. In Caitlin Moran’s writing “Why Women
Shouldn’t Have Children” she explains her beliefs in our societal norms, and
the overbearing thought that all women should not only have children, but
should want to have children. Moran is a very opinionated woman, and from first
reading what she had to say I would assume that she didn’t have any children,
but to my surprise she actually does have a child. Knowing she had a child
completely changed my outlook on her writing and, honestly made me agree with
her piece even more whole-heartedly. Moran explains throughout her paper that
women in our society are “presumed” to “always end up having babies”, and that
instead of others asking “do you want children?” they will ask “when are you
going to have children?” She goes on to explain that being a mother can teach
you lessons, but those lessons can and will be taught in a variety of other
ways, and settings. People tend to think that a woman’s worth comes from her
abilities to produce another being, rather than a variety of other
characteristics and talents that they should be praised for. The fact that a
woman is judged on whether or not she pops out a baby is absurd. Moran also
mentions that women are treated very differently than men, that men never get
asked the question “when are you going to have kids?” She thinks this is
because “men can, pretty much, carry on as normal once they’ve had a baby.” The
mother, in turn, is left to spring back from her recent child birth, breast
feed, and in most cases stay at home and take care of the child. Moran supports
most of what she is saying by tying in her experience as a mother, and woman: which
is a good technique because she can be seen as a person you can trust, since
she’s been through all of it, and knows how it has changed her view. Moran also
uses popular figures in movies, such as batman, to compare the societal
standards between men and women. All in all Moran is saying it is okay to want
to have children, but it is not something that should be forced on all of us,
because everyone has different wants in life, and sometimes that want does not
contain being tied down by a big 18 year commitment.
I agree with the fact that not all women should have children. However, I have to disagree with Caitlin Moran when she says that many women panic and have a baby “just in case” their biological clock runs out, and comparing that to buying a cashmere cardigan two sizes too small. There is a lot of pressure on women to have kids but I think it is just because so many moms attest to the fact that having kids is one of their greatest accomplishments and that is nothing to be ashamed of. I do not have kids but moms say that the complete, never ending love that they have for their children is unexplainable. And that is why I think so many women have children, because they want to have that amazing love that so many others have, because everyone knows love is the number one thing people try so hard to find in life. Moran also translates “when are you going to have children?” to “when are you going to fuck it all up by having kids?” I believe having kids is the complete opposite from “fucking up your life.” For me, not for all women, having children is one of the things I need to complete my life, to bring me happiness. I cannot believe that any mother would agree that their child fucked up their life. Another point from Moran was that every lesson learned from motherhood can be learned elsewhere. I believe that there is at least one lesson that can be only learned through parenting. The love and connection that mothers describe about their children makes me convinced that motherhood is an irreplaceable thing and some things cannot be taught to those not in the same situation.
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