Sunday, January 25, 2015

Why You Shouldn't Have Children

Women are constantly taught, ever since they are children themselves, that they have to grow up to become mothers. If I could shake Caitlin Moran's hand for writing an article explaining why this is not true, I surely would. For some reason, women believe that having a child will be the greatest, most rewarding experience of their lives. I guess marriage, travel, work and other forms of success have been forgotten. Women are so much more than what their bodies are biologically capable of doing. It's not that having a baby isn't incredible, and kudos to all the mothers out there, it's just the fact that you do not HAVE to have one. You can live a perfectly happy and fulfilled life without having a baby. Not to mention all the consequences of choosing motherhood. Pregnancy is like twenty different types of gross, child labor is a nightmare, and then even after you have your bouncing bundle of joy, you have to deal with changing endless amounts of diapers, crying, screaming, illness, go ahead and say goodbye to all your money and a social life, and what I would say is definitely the worst part: breastfeeding. It takes a special kind of woman to be a mother and God bless them all, but it's really not cut out for all of us, and that's perfectly okay. It's not a sin to not want to have a baby. Moran writes in her article that we call these women "selfish," but it's more responsible for a woman to admit that she is not fit to be a mother, than for her to fall prey to the pressures of society and her biological clock and have a baby that she does not fully desire and/or is not fully capable of caring for. Unlike women, who have this constant maternal pressure on them, men for some reason, are not nearly as expected to want children, at least not in the way that women are. It's such an unfair standard. Men are a very necessary part to creating a baby, so why should we not expect them to crave babies the way that women are supposed to? The world needs to understand that having a baby is not something you have to do. It is not on the great check-list of life, where you work your way down, and check it off once you complete it. Life is a very personal adventure, and success does not always come in the same baby-shaped package.

7 comments:

  1. I honestly could not agree with this more. I think it is fantastic for someone like Caitlin Moran to share his or her thoughts on this particular subject. Yes women’s bodies are made to reproduce but that should not mean they have to. Like Becca stated, there is so much more to woman than just the ability to reproduce. In my opinion I find a lot of women without kids to be quite independent. Often times a woman will become pregnant and carry majority of responsibility of the child while her husband works to pay the bills. If that’s the type of lifestyle a woman would like to have then good for her, but we have to remember every woman is different. Myself for example, I am a very independent person and that type of lifestyle is not appealing to me. Sure I say I don’t want kids but I know I am still young and that very well could change and if I decide I do, I would prefer to keep my independent personality. Being the woman, I should not have to be the only one to dedicate my life to the child. This is where men should step in. They are equally responsible for the child so not only should it be a teamwork sort of thing, they should also WANT to help out with their kids lives. Besides just not wanting to have children, there are so many other reasons women decide not to. I think society should stop pressuring babies on women and remind them that it’s okay to choose a so-called abnormal lifestyle. Like Moran stated, “most women will continue to have babies, the planet isn’t going to run out of new people”, so at the end of the day it’s your life and your decision as to what you do with it and we should not feel pressured by societal norms.

    ReplyDelete
  2. In my opinion, this is very well written. For the majority of this entry, I agree. I agree that having a baby is not something that should be held over women's heads. I liked when Becca stated, "Life is a very personal adventure, and success does not always come in the same baby-shaped package". It is true; your own life is so personal. It's your ongoing opportunity to do the things you want, be who you want, and make your life the way you want it. Having a baby is NOT for everyone, and I understand that. What I disagree with is that "all" women who have babies ruin their opportunity to be someone. Which in my opinion, is how Moran came off. Moran said, "Every woman who chooses - joyfully, thoughtfully, calmly, of her own free will and desire - not to have a child does womankind a favor in the long term. We need more women who are allowed to prove their worth as people, rather than being assessed merely for their potential to create new people". I found this slightly offensive. To me Moran is saying that women who have babies are throwing away their worth and/or don't have any. In my eyes, this is horribly wrong. My mother had two kids in her late twenties or as Moran basically states as prime years. My mother is THE strongest, most successful badass I know. She had babies because she wanted to, and because she knew that it wouldn't alter her "worth". While I do agree that having a baby is not something everyone has to do, I don't agree that it will change a woman's opportunity to leave a mark on this world. That's her own choice.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is one of the better essays that I have seen written about this particular subject about women and their supposed obligations to society to have children and enter into motherhood. I strongly and firmly agree with pretty much all of the points stated in this essay. I especially like when you stated in your argument that motherhood is a wonderful thing but maybe it is not for everybody out there. I have seen with my own eyes young women in their early twenties have babies and still want to live that party lifestyle and go out without any worries and that’s just now how it works. I agree with you when you say that it is more of a responsible action for someone to decide that if they want a certain lifestyle that maybe a baby is not for them, at least not at the moment. In my own personal opinion, it’s better to hold off on having a child if you know you won’t be able to give it your full attention at all times and spend the time needed to care for a child. This is a very well written essay with great points to look at.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I do not agree with the post. For two reasons.
    First, I do not agree when you say men are not being asked the same question women are when it comes to if they are going to have children or not. I agree that the author, Caitlin Moran, says these things; But I do not agree with the statement she makes. Men are being asked the dreaded question, but not by the media. People much worse than the media; their families.
    I also do not agree that when Moran says women are selfish for knowing that they can't have children. She explains that society thinks women are "selfish" because women do not want children no matter what their current life situation is. I agree that if you do not have the resources to take care of a child, then you definitely should not have them. On the other hand if you are sitting happy on millions of dollars and have the opportunity to partake in the wonderful gift you have been granted, then do I believe it is "selfish"

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree with Caitlin Moran and her point of view towards how society expects women to have children. Not all women want to have a child and comparing having a child to buying a sweater that is too small was spot on because you might not need it now but like she said "better safe than sorry". Moran is saying that some women have children as a back up plan for when they are asked the question "do you have any children". The only thing about this post that I disagree with is the whole "men are not nearly as expected to want children" thing. It just doesn't sound right because plenty of men want to have children. It should be as expected for men to want children more than women, mainly because we don't have a uterus and it doesn't cause us to have to stay home and be "out of commission" for at least four to five years.
    The fact that some women will have children just because it is expected of them to, kind of drops my jaw because they aren't thinking for themselves and in return don't give that child the proper care it deserves. And women who decide not to have children because they know that they want to focus on their career or travel or simply just don't want to, they shouldn't be judged or criticized because they are being responsible enough to realized that that baby won't receive the love and attention it needs develope into a functional member of society

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree with this particular blog post. I believe no woman should feel pressured into having a baby. This is a very big choice for any woman to make and needs to be a choice the woman and man both want, not because you feel it as your biological duty. Having a baby isn't for every woman and thats okay. No baby should be brought into this world if the parents don't have the necessary means to provide for the newborn. I like how Becca used, "Life is a very personal adventure, and success does not always come in the same baby-shaped package." This quote is very true. Just because you see having a baby as a societal "norm" these days, doesn't mean you have to hop on the baby bandwagon. It is your life and if you do not desire to have a baby, then you shouldn't feel like you have too. However, the one statement I disagree with is when she said that men usually don't want kids as much as women. This is entirely not true. Men want kids just as bad as women do, its programmed in our head to reproduce. The majority of men want to have kids, just not until we hit a certain age. Having a baby is a very serious commitment, one that most men don't want to have until they know they will be able to be a responsible, caring and providing father figure in their childs life.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love your views. The way you state “Men are a very necessary part to creating a baby, so why should we not expect them to crave babies the way that women are supposed to?” is a perfect comment. When Caitlin Moran says that men’s lives basically carry on normally once they have had a baby should not be the case. Yes, women’s lives are going to be SO different but should not it be the same for men? I mean they are the real reason women get pregnant, we can not do it ourselves, so why should men be able to not go through the same struggles and worries that women go through after a baby has arrived? Also where you say that it is “more responsible for a woman to admit that she is not fit to be a mother, than for her to fall prey to the pressures of society” is so true. In my own personal opinion I feel as though if you are not ready or able to have a child, do not. If you have no other choice then God bless you, but if you have the option to have a child or not and you decided to have one yet you know you are not physically or mentally capable of caring for this new life then shame on you. All you are doing is making both your life and this child’s life difficult because you and everyone around you thought it was something women do, have babies.

    ReplyDelete