Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Masculinity


I think Theroux and Crews are very much apart of the same conversation. Both authors analyze what “masculinity” consists of. Crews explains himself in a strong yet gentle tone whereas Theroux writes in more of a disgusted tone. Regardless, they both seem to think very alike along the lines of the expectations men are “supposed” to demonstrate to be considered a man. Crews states, “when men are scared, they wont say it” and I think this statement is incredibly true. Men are often times taught by their father that they cannot show when they’re scared or weak because that would expose them. Men are raised thinking they are superior to women and I think that is primarily what leads to rape and abuse. Crews and Theroux are responding to the ways masculinity is wrongly projected and shown. Crews explains every man just wants intimacy and how sex is not intimacy. Theroux talks about how the President of the United States can be seen dressed like a cowboy on the weekends and he states, “it is both a measure of his insecurity and his willingness to please”. I think this ties right back into what Crews was saying. Whether it’s the President dressing like a cowboy or teenage boys trying to replace intimacy with sex, it goes to show how distorted the idea of masculinity is. Men shouldn’t have to be like this. As Crews talks about a couple of times, people need to focus on “gender purposes” rather than gender norms. His explanation about him and his wife is a perfect example. He illustrates how the relationship between him and his wife is equal. I think this is incredibly important because at the beginning he explains that feminism does not mean women are better than men. Just as women are no better than men, men are no better than women. This is a much harder concept to get across though. Crews also states, “it’s not battling people, it’s battling mindsets”, and honestly that’s all that it comes down to. If people were to realize they’re no more valuable than others, this idea of gender roles would disappear.

7 comments:

  1. I really do agree with Paul's and Terry’s views on mens masculinity. Men are constantly second guessing how they should act due to how society expects every man to act. Paul talks about how him wanting to be a writing , how writing was his passion and he was afraid to let everyone know this because he feared that everyone would portray him as weak or not manly. In Paul’s essay he speaks more about how he hated being a man because of the way boys are being brought up to be men. In Terry’s interview he was talking more about how society expects men to be. He uses the perfect example when he talks about him and his son going to see Iron Man 3 in the theaters and his son was ashamed to tell him that he was scared during the movie. Terry said that his son had a look as if he had failed him. His son was only 6 years old. This shows how much the way society has affected the way they believe men should act. Terry also talks about him and his wife act as an equal whole. Neither of them are above each other, she is the tough one sometimes and he is the tough one sometimes. He is the more gentle one sometimes and vice versa. Both Terry and Paul have similar views but in different perspectives. They both express that the way mens masculinity is portrayed is not right. Men do not necessarily have to act the way that society expects them to act.

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  2. “The Male Myth” By Paul Theroux is an essay that points out the ultimate male dilemma- the idea of ‘manliness,’ ‘rationality,’ and other masculine stereo-types that force men to gain social acceptance by exerting their strength and power. I think that the problems with men’s aspirations of strength and power are highlighted in an interview with Terry Crews, the entertainment and football icon who’s recent book is entitled “Manhood: How To Be A Better Man or Live With One.” Crews states that the societal pressure on men to be tough is what causes many of today’s problems. I believe he illustrated the point perfectly when he used the example of rape and what truly causes it to show how damaging it can be to make boys be ashamed that they are scared, or hurt, or need help.
    I think that Theroux’s strong involvement in changing gender stereotypes stems from his experience as a writer. He has clearly faced adversity in his decision to publicly take on writing as a carrier. He recounts his experience of not fitting into traditional gender norms, stating that he has been embarrassed to tell people he aspired for a carrier in writing in fear of coming off as weak and not manly enough. Crews on the other hand, is coming out against the societal pressure on young boys to be strong and tough after spending years being controlled by these norms in the sports and entertainment industry. He says that he can now see the problems with his idea of who he was supposed to be, someone whom he now disagrees with, and has made effort to speak out against.
    I definitely believe that these two men are aiming for the same resolution: to redefine manhood, allowing men to be comfortable with themselves no matter their likes, their hobbies and their carriers.

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  3. The views on masculinity have been completely destroyed by society and trying to maintain the idea of gender norms in America. Both Terry Crews and Paul Theroux explain how they have come to face with the idea of masculinity in their own life and even express their disappointment on how little boys are being raised and expected to uphold this façade of being “manly”. In the interview, Crews tells a story about a time his 6 years old son was scared during a movie, but when asked if he was truly scared, his son hung his head in shame as if he had failed his father. Seeing how this was completely wrong and that people no matter what gender should be able to express themselves, Crews felt the need to address it and expound on his personal struggles with this as well. For Theroux’s example, as a child he loved to right but at the time writing was not seen as a manly thing to do, so he hid his passion for writing in fear that he may be judged for it. Going as far to say “I have always disliked being a man”, Theroux still finds himself disgusted with how society views manliness. Crews and Theroux both feel as though everyone should be allowed to express themselves in certain ways without any fear of judgment stepping out of the gender norm society has placed upon us. Crews even gives insight to how his family operates by gender purposes, not norms. Overall, I think the “so what?” message of these two men is to inform all males no matter what age, that just being you and doing what makes you happy is enough, even if you go outside of societal norms.

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  4. Both Crews and Theroux have very similar views on what they think society is doing to men and their "masculinity." Is it okay to be scared, is it okay to feel, or should men always act tough and emotionless? Basically, the corrupted perspective of "manly" is destroying the actual human emotions that men have. Men feel like they can't feel, or they will be seen as weak or vulnerable, and not in a good way. Neither sex, male or female, is being seen as equal. Only women can be emotional, and only men can be strong, but one can never be the other, or even both. I think both authors would agree that the key to healthy relationships, or even the key to a healthy life for an individual is equality. But, equality amongst men and women is something that society refuses to admit is okay. Men have emotions. They should be able to feel openly about their emotions in the same way that women can, and it should be perfectly acceptable for them to be honest about it, because the day they do is the day we see a change in societal norms, and that's a change the world needs.

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  5. Many people complain about the beauty standards that women have but we (society) never stop to realize that men are also expected to reach certain standards to be considered a “man” or “manly.” You’re right, Theroux did seem to have a disgusted tone towards manhood. He even said that he has “always disliked being a man” which is surprising because I have never heard a man say that before. Theroux also didn’t want to admit that he wanted to be a writer because men are expected to have “manly” jobs. Theroux says towards the end of his article that because of all the expectations men have to reach, it’s a reason why “men object to feminism.” Crews, on the other hand, has more of a respectful tone not just towards manliness, but towards feminism as well. It was nice to see a man who had a positive perspective towards feminism rather than a negative one. Crews mentions that he used to believe he was more superior to woman and now he sees them as more equal. He now has views from both sides and this gives him more credibility because he had experiences with both. Men are expected to be brave and strong and to not show any weaknesses such as crying or being afraid. And now young boys are starting to pick up on these expectations. His son was afraid to admit that he was scared from watching Iron Man 3 and felt ashamed to admit it to his dad. And that’s another thing, boys/men don’t want to feel ashamed or embarrassed for going against certain expectations. It’s safe to say that men, not just women, also have trouble doing what is expected from society.

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  6. Crews and Theroux have the same views on masculinity. They both feel that society has molded the meaning of being a man into something it should not be, an emotionless, feelingless being. Society has this picture perfect image of what a man should be and this is a strong, intellectual, superior person. I agree with Crews and Theroux that the idea of a man today is a bit preposterous and fictional. Men feel an amazing amount of pressure to be the "man" society wants us to be.However, I do disagree with Theroux having a condescending tone on being a man. He says, "I have always disliked being a man", which I do not understand at all. Societal norms have separated men and women and has proposed a fake image of what it really means to be a man or a woman.

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  7. Paul Theroux and Terry Crews are both stating that they are basically against the whole men have to be manly to be counted as a man. Crews explains this when he is at the movies with his son and his son is scared yet wont admit it. He wants to teach his son to express his feelings rather to line and say they are not there and hide the truth. Theroux explains it as when he was young he wanted to become a writer yet then it was not a job seen for a mans job but rather a women’s. Both men are saying that you do not have to be the typical muscle man with no feelings but that it is okay to show emotions and do things that are not always seen as a manly thing. The “so what?” that both of these men are basically saying that it does not matter what you do that makes you a man but more as being true to yourself is being more of a man than not doing what you want. These men are stating facts of being a man does not make women any lesser than a man, society has made this perspective. Truth be told men need women just as much as women need men. It is a different view for everyone on how they need each other but its not belittling either genders, its just men are better at something’s women are not and vice versa.

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